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Possible Disappointments when Adopting

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From the moment people choose to adopt, they are taking a risk. Adoption can present many challenges and disappointments. It is the intent of any adoption agency or non-profit organization that an adoption run smoothly and be a success. Unfortunately this is not always the case. There are adoptions which go wrong. When people start down the road of adoption, they must prepare themselves emotionally for possible disappointments when adopting.

When a couple choose to adopt privately, they are taking a big risk. Many people stay away from private adoption because they fear the possible disappointments attached to private adoption. People who choose this method of adoption run the risk of the birth mother possibly changing her mind, keeping her baby and raising them herself. After going through the entire adoption process, sharing the pregnancy with the birth mother, it would be very disappointing for the potential adoptive parents to be informed by the birth mother that her child was no longer available to adopt but rather she had decided to keep her baby. No doubt this announcement would be excruciating but prospective adoptive parents are fully aware of this possibility before entering into any agreement with the birth mother regarding adopting her newborn.

When people choose to adopt publicly, they may find it disappointing to find that there are few babies and toddlers available for adoption. Many children who are need to be adopted through public adoption are children who come from broken homes, abusive homes and homes where they were exposed to drugs and alcohol. These children have likely been moved from foster home to foster home and require extra attention and care. It may be disappointing for the adoptive parents when their adoptive child appears emotionally unstable and has a difficult time adjusting to their environment. Fortunately there are people involved in public adoption who are able to council adoptive parents and adoptive children in situations such as this.

Foreign adoption seems to be quite popular among North Americans. Perhaps because the adoptive parents are almost certain they will find a child. However when dealing with foreign adoption, it can be risky. There is plenty of red tape to sort through with foreign adoption. Often times the adoption process is halted or put on hold for different reasons. This can be very disappointing for the adoptive parents who are patiently waiting to meet bring their adoptive child home. When adopting in foreign countries, the government has rules and restrictions for adoption. It is recommended to adopt from a country where the government is stable and there isn’t a chance of changes. A new government may introduce new adoption laws which may affect the adoption process. This would delay the adoption or maybe even terminate the adoption. This would be quite disappointing for adoptive parents. It is very important to thoroughly research the adoptive child’s health history if wanting a healthy child. It’s disappointing when the adoptive parents bring their child home and later discover they have health problems. This is a possibility and would indeed cause feelings of disappointment.

Adoption is risky. The bottom line is adoptive parents must be very careful which adoption method they choose, which country they choose if adopting overseas, and to learn all they possibly can about their adoptive child. Adoptive parents must also attempt to prepare their minds and souls for the possibility of disappointment.


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